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STOP Dancing with your Girlfriend (and why!)

Your girlfriend is the reason your salsa is so mediocre!

There… I’ve said it. Let the hate mail roll on in.

Or, be reasonable and hear me out. I’ll explain exactly why your significant other is hampering your salsa evolution and what you can do about it without having to break up and go through that whole “uncomfortable” period of trying to avoid the dance socials they regularly attend (you all know what I’m talking about).

First things first, let me appease the ladies and say that I could just as easily have titled this article “Stop Dancing with your Boyfriend/Spouse/Life-Partner” or some other gender neutral BS. I didn’t because my regular readers are well aware that I like a nice controversial title every now and then. It should suffice to say that I’m talking about all significant others or regular dance partners in this article.

Now that I’ve alienated half my readers, let’s move on.

Reasons we get into salsa
A pretty major reason people get into salsa is to meet someone of the opposite sex which I highlighted in this very scientifically referenced chart some time ago. It is by no means the main reason but it certainly plays a role in peoples decisions to start dancing. What often happens when someone joins the world of dance (be it Salsa, Bachata, Kizomba, Break or whatever) is that they might meet and start dating a fellow dancer. Another similar occurence might be that the non-dancing partner in a relationship might be encouraged to get into dancing and take a shine to it (as has been known to happen).

Either way, the end result is that beginning couples in the dance community often end up dancing together frequently (if not exclusively… although this is much rarer). I say beginning couples because this isn’t common in more experienced dancers who are generally more confident, whereas beginning dancers are often shy and naturally feel more secure dancing with someone they know and trust.

Getting all Lovey Dovey with your partner is great and all but a little bit of distance could do great things for your dancing!

Too much coddling
Let me make something clear: dancing with your significant other is wonderful. You share a trust and connection that you share with no one else on the dance floor (hopefully) and that will show in your dance. However, if you dance exclusively or mostly with your partner you will not be able to benefit from that essential phase in becoming a good dancer, that is, dancing with different people.

I’ll speak from my perspective as a man and a lead as that’s what I know best (not that I know anything about being a woman… but… let’s just leave it). Anyway, when I first started dancing salsa in Japan, I did so with my girlfriend at the time. I was particularly shy about dancing and worried about making mistakes so I probably danced 90% of dances with my then girlfriend. I actually remember going to my first social in a big city and danced all but one song (or should I say the final 60 seconds of one song) with a random woman at the club. It took me that long to work up the courage.

Anyway, when we broke up, I naturally started dancing with many more different women (keep inappropriate comments to yourselves please). And in very little time I experienced a huge improvement in my salsa ability. So sudden was the change that after a 10 day “salsa vacation” around the Philippines and Hong Kong, in which I went social dancing virtually every night, my friends back in Japan told me it was like dancing with a completely different person.

Variety is the spice of life
People are different. We have different body shapes and sizes, different limb-length proportions, we move at different speeds, we have joints that move differently. On top of that, everyone learns dance in a slightly different way and has their own style. It’s actually rather beautiful because it means no two people will ever dance the same way.

What it also means is that even if you have mastered a certain move with one person (your significant other or a regular dance partner) it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll immediately be able to pull it off with someone else.

I regular extoll the benefits of practicing regularly with someone you feel comfortable with as it helps you to lock combinations and moves into your mental and muscle memory. However, you’ll have locked it into memory using only one partner who has a fixed body shape and dance style. It may not work for others. When I practice a move with my dance partner and then feel comfortable enough to try it on the dance floor I often find that there is a steep learning curve involved in adjusting it to other follows. I regularly mess it up at the beginning even though I might nail it every time with my partner. This is why dancing with others is ESSENTIAL.

Cut the cord
If you want to improve your dancing so you can dance well with everyone… well… you have to dance with everyone. Only then will you learn how to adapt your own style and combinations to other people. You’ll learn to dance with other body types and might find certain moves are better suited to taller partners or partners with shorter arms or more flexible dancers… that’s the amazing thing about dance, the sheer variety of different dancers out there.

I’m not telling you to stop dancing with your significant other or your regular dance partner when you go social dancing… that would be ridiculous. What I’m saying is that you need to venture out there and dance with other people. In dance classes, partners are rotated for a reason, so you can experience dancing with someone else. (Side note: I’ve actually been to classes where one couple stood off to the side of the main group so they didn’t have to switch partners… maybe they were both shy but I honestly thought it was riduculous).

Anyway, if you really want to improve your dance level it’s time to give your significant other a break and start dancing with other people. You’ll get better and I’m sure that your partner will appreciate it.

Keep Dancing Folks.

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Have you been working-out lately? Because you look spectacular 🙂 If you liked this article go ahead and share it with your friends via the Facebook or Twitter buttons below and if you use Stumbleupon please give it a “Thumbs Up”. I’d really appreciate it 😉

Tags: Boyfriend, Dance Partner, Dancing, Girlfriend, Partner, Salsa, Spouse

Comments 6 Comments
Categories Dance, Practice, Salsa

What Makes a Great Dance Congress?: Dublin Fever Fest 2015

13 Oct

I danced so hard I caught a cold!

That’s exactly what happened to me a couple of weekends ago when I attended the 2^nd Dublin Fever Fest, Ireland’s most recent Latin-dance congress and a show of how popular salsa and a whole spectrum of other dances have become in the Emerald Isle over the past few years.

How do you catch a cold from dancing? Well if you have to ask you’ve clearly never danced hard enough before 😛 . Continued heavy exercise can weaken your immune system and I’ve run myself down in the past after suddenly thinking it would be a good idea to go dancing every night for a week straight (I’m usually a 2 or 3 nights a week kind-of-guy). Fever Fest, however, was my first time catching a cold after only a weekend of dancing… well done Fever Fest.

Despite, running myself into the ground and catching a cold (which I still have by the way “sniff sniff”), I really had a blast at Dublin Fever Fest and I think it’s worth pointing out why; what made it special and maybe what could make it even better.

Size Matters!
Let’s be honest… it does! In the case of salsa congresses, they can be small local congresses with just one class at a time or they can be huge international congresses with thousands of attendees and multiple classes running simultaneously. They all have their own Pros and Cons.

Fever Fest is on the smaller side with about XXXX attendees in total and two classes at any one time. I have to admit that I really enjoy this type of “cozy” congress. By the end of the first day of workshops you get to dance and chat with a good portion of the attendees and knowing more people makes for much more enjoyable nights of social dancing.

One of the great advantages of smaller congresses is getting to know and dance with so many people in such a short time.

Great International Teachers
Most people who go t congresses go for one of two reasons; to dance their asses off or to learn new skills from teachers they wouldn’t normally get the chance to learn from.

The line-up at Fever Fest was a great mix of mostly European teachers who, again due to the smaller size of the event, came together as a mini-family of “dance parents” who happily mingled during the event with their “dance kids”, the attendees.

While I usually don’t condone favoritism I have to mention one of the instructors in particular. The world famous Marco Ferigno, dance partner to the equally famous Karol Florez, gave a Master-class in Mambo Shines and it was simply… masterful. On top of being a simple astounding dancer, he also happened to be a very friendly, approachable and down-to-earth teacher. I was exhausted after an hour and a half of his rapid fire choreography, but happily so.

A great collection of talented and friendly teachers that really mixed with the festival goers.

A great collection of talented and friendly teachers and performers that really mixed with the festival goers.

A Class Act
While the actual teachers at a congress are vitally important, the type of classes they teach are just as important. Everyone is used to doing the good old staples like “LA Partnerwork” or “Ladies Styling” and these were duly represented at Fever Fest. However, they were supplemented with novel classes such as Boogaloo and Reggaeton. This is the kind of refreshing variety that makes a congress worth attending; classes that take us out of our comfort-zone and expose us to new styles and techniques that broaden our horizons as dancers.

It’s full of Dancing Irish People
While I may have the internet rights to call myself “The Dancing Irishman”, the dance-floor of Fever Fest was full of many more Dancing Irish People just as worthy of the title. Fair enough, the dance community in Ireland has a huge expat component but I really think that if you want to party with the Irish, there’s no better place to do it than on home-turf.

Great social dancing is a must at any congress and Fever Fest didn’t disappoint.

Show me something new
Last but by no means least, I need to mention the performances at Fever Fest. For most people, the most important parts of a congress are the classes and the social dancing and while I feel mostly the same myself, I was definitely impressed with what I saw. To begin with the first performance of the weekend involved four stunningly beautiful women shaking their ample booties in what could only be described as some form of urban/latin/funk… that got me hooked. On top of that there was the usual mix of excellent performances by both professionals and student groups that one would expect at a congress but one in particular stood out. An original choreography by the MC of Fever Fest, Azael Salazar and Nadezda Antipenko simply blew me away. The contemporary piece that Azael described as being about the desire to be with someone you can’t be with literally left me with my jaw hanging. By far the highlight of all that was on show. One final good point about all the performances is that they didn’t outstay their welcome every night. They kept them short and sweet and they didn’t reduce the actual social dance time too much at all.

Quite possibly one of the best contemporary dance performances that I’ve ever seen.

I’ll be back
All in all, Fever Fest impressed me, especially as a congress that is still in its infancy. Even though I don’t live in Ireland any more I can see myself making the trip to this great event on a yearly basis.

Great classes, great performances and a great dancing… what more could you ask for?

Keep dancing folks!

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Tags: Dance, dance congress, Salsa, Travel

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Categories Culture, Dance, Ireland, Salsa, Travel

S#!t Salseros Do

23 Sep

Salsa will change your life!

I think it’s fair enough to say that anyone who starts dancing salsa (or any social dance for that matter) sees some fairly noticeable changes in their life after a short amount of.

We change, we become different from the “muggles” (a term used to refer to people without magic powers in the Harry Potter series) (NOTE: I’ve never read the books but someone told me the term in reference to non-dancers and I liked it). So yeah, once we’re accepted into the Secret Society of Salsa (S.S.S.) we become different from the muggles… those without magical powers of salsa.

Here’s a little list of some of those things that we often do now as salseros, which we never did before.

When stepping onto a relatively large floor, like in a restaurant, bar or even someone’s home, twisting the ball of your foot from side to side on the surface to gauge the friction and therefore dance potential.
Subtly nodding to yourself and giving a look of appreciation when the above floor meets your standards.
Your adrenaline rises and your heartbeat accelerates when you hear a salsa song played in a completely non-salsa setting.
The above reaction is intensified when you’re together with another salsero and give each other that look of knowing something that no one else there knows.
You dress better and suddenly become far more adventurous with your wardrobe. This could be the skin-tight sparklies common in performances, a revealing little dress with some added flare for the ladies or for the men… you know what I’m gonna say… waistcoats 😉
Yup, that’s a salsa dancer right there!
Doing some serious shoulder and hip movement when you’re dancing to “normal” music. Even listening to music at the bus stop is enough to make you bust a little move if you think you can get away with it
Drinking much less alcohol. Gotta maintain some level of balance!
Packing for weekend salsa congress becomes a serious logistical dilemma when trying to pack enough clothes for 3 nights of social and two days of workshops into a little carryon bag.
Having a weeks worth of laundry to do after said weekend becomes totally normal.
Sweating profusely becomes second nature!
The damn song didn’t even last 4 minutes and look at me.
For the ladies, trying to find make-up that will survive all the sweating so you don’t end up looking like the girl from “The Ring” by the end of the night.
Make-up smudging half way through a kizomba night
For the guys, bringing a few extra t-shirts when going out is a fact of life.
Listening and tapping your foot along to normal music and trying to figure out if you could dance to it.
Close physical contact with complete strangers is no longer a problem for you.
Reacting to breaks in music in public with a subtle body movement followed by looks of concern from the people around you.
Feeling slightly awkward at other social functions where no one is dancing.
When trying on new shoes the first thing you do is a spin test to see if you could dance in them.
Dance classes/nights out/congress’ etc become monthly fixed expenses, just as important as rent and electricity.
Personal hygiene becomes even more of a priority.
Planning a vacation now involves the essential step of looking up possible latin clubs at your destination.
You become incredibly critical of “salsa dancing” you see in popular movies or on TV… “I could do better than that”!
You always have chewing gum.
Your social circle explodes and Facebook friend requests blow up after a congress.
You constantly say that you’re going to learn Spanish so you can understand the lyrics of your favorite songs… but it never quite happens.
Standing in front of a full-length mirror is a perfect opportunity for some shines or body isolations.
You feel like a living legend if any of your “muggle” friends ever see you dancing with another salsero.
You ask complete strangers to dance and accept dances from complete strangers… I’m pretty sure no one did that before starting salsa.
Hearing a particular song brings back really powerful memories of that amazing dance you had with that cute girl/guy a while back… ufff!
Ladies, some of you have probably decided you didn’t need to buy groceries for a week just so you could get that new pair of dance shoes that caught your eye (to be honest, this one probably isn’t that different from the muggles).
Men, you have become unfazed by ridiculing comments made by your non-dancing, male friends and family.
You pass other salseros, who you don’t know but have seen out dancing, on the street and you give each other “the nod” and subtle smile of salsa acknowledgement! You both walk away feeling special.
Random body rolls 😀

The list could go on.

So, what do you think? Do you recognize any of these new habits in yourself since joining the world of salsa?

Or what have I left out? Let me know in the comments and I’ll add them to the list.

Keep dancing folks.

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Tags: Dance, muggles, new life, Salsa, salseros, shit salseros do

Comments 21 Comments
Categories Dance

The Secret Step Between Dance Class and the Dance Floor!

27 Aug

Phase 1: Collect Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit

It’s that simple, right? You know where to start and you know where you want to end up! So getting from Phase 1 to Phase 3 should be a walk in the park…

…not without Phase 2, buddy.

You need to know “HOW”!
If you’re like me (and I’m not so odd that there’s no one out there that can relate) then the following scenario will be very familiar:

You go to dance class, excited and filled with the desire to learn

You learn the new pattern/technique and have it nailed by the end of class… Yippee!

You go out on the weekend dying to bust out your new move

You step out on the dance floor and suddenly your mind goes blank

How did it even start? Did I really go to that class? Are those my feet?

And yet another sweet move is thrown into the ever expanding “Could have been great” junk-pile in the dark recesses of your mind, never to be used again.

This is probably my most common face on the dance-floor!

Stupid Brain
Truth be told, we can’t blame all of our “salsa” forgetfulness on our brains or on the dance class itself. It’s become my catchphrase at this point and it still holds true “You learn the moves in class but you learn to dance on the dance-floor”.

There is however an often forgotten or ignored step in between that most people should really consider incorporating into their salsa development…

Practice at Home!
I know from my own experience that I simply cannot remember a new move or technique after a single dance class. I just can’t. I need to practice that move until it becomes automatic, until muscle memory takes over and I no longer need to rely on my “stupid brain” to “think” about what I need to do next.

There is only one way to save a movement to muscle memory and that, my dancing friends, is repetition. The amount of repetition probably varies from person to person but I’d wager that very few individuals can memorize a move from the limited amount of times you repeat it in a dance class. To those of you who can, congratulations… I hate you!

So what’s to be done? It’s rather simple really: Find yourself a partner willing to join you and practice at home.

Home Sweet Home
There are a few advantages to practicing at home that you will not find anywhere else:

Home is comfortable and safe and no one else can see you making mistakes
You can practice at your own pace, not having to worry about keeping up with other people in a class
You can focus on the parts of a move that you find particularly tricky
You can dance like an absolute imbecile and no-one will ever know
You can review videos you’ve taken from class to help you work on your technique
You can play music you like at a pace your comfortable with (building from slower to faster)
You can eat a burger or a pizza or an ice-cream sundae while practicing (as long as you share with your partner)
You can wear whatever you want (or don’t want). Superman pijamas… Hell Yeah (once again, as long as your partner is cool with it)

If this makes you feel comfortable while dancing… go with it. I have a pair myself!

The Importance of Comfort
I regularly talk about how important it is to get out of your comfort zone in order to improve (at anything). I firmly believe it to be true but I also know that to be able to get out of our comfort zone, it has to exist in the first place. What I mean is that we should practice a move until it becomes comfortable to us. Until it becomes incorporated into our muscle memory. The best way to do that is to practice in a controlled, comfortable safe, environment with someone we trust (your dance partner needs to be a friend or at least someone you feel comfortable with).

Once you’ve nailed a move through repetition with one partner, once you’re comfortable, then it’s time to take it onto the dance-floor and step out of that comfort zone and practice it “in the wild”.

That middle step, that “Phase 2” of practicing yourself and committing a movement to muscle memory is what will help take full advantage of what you learn in class and transfer it to the dance-floor.

Keep dancing folks!

Tags: comfort zone, Dance, Practice, Salsa

Comments 2 Comments
Categories Dance, Goals, Practice, Salsa

Beautiful Gorgeous Feminine Vortex

28 Jul

We’re going to talk about the evolution of the female dancer!

As titles go, it might seem like I’m really grabbing at straws with “Beautiful Gorgeous Feminine Vortex” but there’s a great back story to it and some interesting insight into the stages that make up the development of the most amazing social dancers you will ever have the pleasure of sharing a dance-floor with.

In the beginning, there was woman
So I’m sitting in a cafe in Barcelona with my buddy Tyler who I haven’t seen in almost 3 years, since my days back in Cali, Colombia. Tyler and I share a ridiculous amount in common. We both have backgrounds in martial arts which had led us to live in Asia for a time (Tyler in China and me in Japan), we both had decided that there was more to life than slaving away at a job we hated so we decided to travel instead and we both ended up in Cali, to do the same 2 things; learn Spanish and, more importantly, dance!

So, it was great to catch up with him after such a long time and hear the stories of his adventures over the past few years. After catching up, the conversation naturally turned to women (as has been known to happen when men are speaking with each other 😉 ). Tyler is what I would call a very spiritually evolved individual and he suddenly started talking about 3 different types of women he had met in his life, each one an evolution from the previous with the final, most evolved, most balanced form described by him as this “beautiful gorgeous feminine vortex“! I have no idea how he came up with the term. More than likely he just pulled it out of his a$$ right there and then… but it stuck with me.

So how does this relate to dance?
As Tyler was describing these 3 different types to me, my brain immediately started making the connection with salsa and I realized he was also describing a very interesting way of looking at different types of dancers. I’m going to do my best in this article to try and convey this concept to you, not because I believe everything fits into a neat definition (that idea actually annoys me) but because we, as humans, do like to put things into groups because it makes understanding concepts easier (and because I need to write an article before the end of the month 😀 )

Type 1
Type 1 is the earliest, most basic form of the female dancer. She is content with just leaving the man lead and following along. She has no real interest in doing shines or anything with too much flair. She may be technically very, very good (or not) but her main goal is to get through the dance in the most uneventful way possible. She doesn’t particularly feel any need to contribute to the creativity of the dance and so all dances with her might appear to be very, very similar. More than anything else, this type is defined by both a lack of self confidence and a lack of emotion while dancing.

Type 2
Type 2 is an evolution from Type 1. The easiest way to conceptualize this dancer is to imagine a high powered female executive. She is brimming with confidence and drive to achieve her goals. She has worked hard to achieve the level of skill she has attained and she wants people to know how good she really is. So much so that she might actually come off as aggressive or bossy on the dance floor. She’s not happy with the idea of a man leading her entirely in the dance and will often break away herself to do the shines she wants to do, the way she wants to do them. She want’s to dominate in the dance, to prove that she can do everything, at the expense of her partner. Once again, her dances are probably technically wonderful but they can probably make her partner feel like he was just an afterthought, a tool necessary to actually achieve the dance, but not an integral part of it.

Type 3
This is the final evolution of the female dancer. She has been through the other stages and learned a great deal from them. She is confident and aware of what she is capable of (which is a great deal) but she has tempered that confidence with the ability to allow herself to happily be led on the dance floor. That said, she contributes to the creativity of the dance with her energy, her shines, her flair and the connection she creates with her partner. This is what sets her apart from the other two types; the connection that she allows herself to become part of. She isn’t concerned with how she looks or what else is going on around her, she is there, in the moment, totally present. The dance is neither about her nor her partner. The dance is what they both create, together, with the music, in a continuous game of give and take that is unique every time you dance with her. After a dance with this evolved, balanced dancer both people walk way feeling that they gained something from the dance, from the connection that was momentarily created. This is the Beautiful Gorgeous Feminine Vortex!

There is nothing quite like a dance with a Beautiful Gorgeous Feminine Vortex.

It’s that good
I once wrote an article called “The Cloudy Dancer” that spoke more of the technical side of dancing with a wonderful dancer like a Type 3. However, in this article I’m getting more into the “why” regarding other factors and not just the actual skill level. Let’s be honest, just because someone is a wonderful “technical” dancer doesn’t mean you are going to fully enjoy a dance with them on the level I’m talking about here . The connection that is created is essential to reach the highest levels of dance pleasure and enjoyment. That connection is what creates unforgettable dance experiences.

No rush
With all that said I bet there are a few people, just starting out in the world of dance, thinking that none of this applies to them. I would say, “think again”. While technical ability has its part to play in creating a great dance, connection is what makes dances memorable and you don’t need to be the greatest dancer in the world to establish that connection. That said, time, practice and experience will feed themselves into the evolution of every dancer provided they don’t get bogged down in one of the other stages, meaning everyone has that potential for incredible dances on a technical and connection-based level.

What about the guys?
What about ’em? … Just kidding 😉 . Leads too, go through an evolution in their dancing. My buddy, Tyler has also put them into 3 groups but that’s for another article entirely (if I get round to it). Suffice it to say that the ultimate dance can be had when both partners have evolved to stage 3, where both are willing to be part of something more than the sum of their parts. Where the connection is real and both partners contribute and no-one dominates.

Now that sounds like a great dance to me.

Keep dancing folks.

Tags: Dance, dance evolution, female dancers, Salsa

Comments 9 Comments
Categories Cali, Dance, Salsa

Dancing is just like Sex (and not in a good way!)

28 May

“Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire”

It’s funny that one of my favorite dance-related quotes should be written by a fellow Irishman, George Bernard Shaw.

Dancing is just like sex
We’ve all heard somebody say it at some time, in various guises;

you’ve got to take it slow at the start…
you need to discover what your partner likes…
you should change things up a bit to keep it interesting…
the best kind gets you all hot and sweaty…
the more you do it the better you get etc…

I could go on… believe me!

We often want to focus and compare the agreeable facets of dance and sex. That’s perfectly natural, they’re both very enjoyable pass times so it’s easy to focus on the good.

It’s not all Pirouettes and Pillow-Talk
So, I’m going to be “That Guy” who has to focus on the negative. You know, the one who has to poke holes in everything.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to (intentionally) ruin dance or sex for anyone (fingers crossed!!!). You might actually find what I’m going to say to be pretty helpful.

Imagination Land
Ok, so for you to grasp this concept I’m going to need you to use your imagination and a little bit of memory. Once again, don’t worry, this is not going to turn into anything “NSFW”… unless you work in a convent (in which case it’s time to stop reading).

Imagine you’ve been seeing someone for a while. You’ve gone on a few dates, and had a great time. You’ve really enjoyed the conversations, laughed at each others jokes, maybe you’ve even gone dancing and had a blast. Things couldn’t be any better… or so you think.

You eventually take things to the next level, you know, because all the kids are doing it these days. You have sex… and it just isn’t good!!!

Sometimes it’s just not good (someone should tell him to try it the other way around, though)

What the hell just happened?!
You rack your brains. How can this be?

You know you’re good 😉 . You’ve had great sex before, many times. You felt a connection with the person and you’re attracted to them. What went wrong?

The Answer: Absolutely Nothing…
The simple truth is that sometimes we encounter people with whom we are just “Sexually Incompatible”. All that means is that despite all the signs pointing towards attraction and chemistry and what not… THE SEX JUST DOESN’T WORK!!!

It doesn’t matter how good you are… it doesn’t matter how good they are… nor how many times you’ve had amazing sex in the past… with other people. The sad truth of the matter is that you two were not meant to have great sex and no frequency of repetition seems to solve it (God loves a tryer though!)

Unfortunately, it’s not always going to be like this

Now, let’s talk about dance
I’ll give you a specific example from my own life.

I did a group choreography once and had a great partner who was (and even more so now, is) an excellent dancer. We got on great, practiced really well together and when it came to performing on stage (in various venues), we really nailed the choreo.

However, when it comes to social dancing, it just doesn’t work for us. It’s very hard to describe but our dances feel (and look, I’d imagine) awkward. She’ll agree with me on this, completely. She’s a great dancer, I’m not awful and we both have great dances with other people… but when we dance together, it just doesn’t work. Be it salsa or bachata, it doesn’t matter… we’re “Dance Incompatible”. We’ve given ourselves plenty of chances to test it out too. No dice!

Is it disappointing? Yes! I’d love to be able to have great dances with all my friends. Is their anything I can do about it? Probably not. It’s just one of those things I need to accept as being outside of my influence. From experience, it doesn’t seem to be something I can practice my way around and get better. It’s something inexplicable, just like sexual chemistry (or lack thereof).

Sometimes, no matter how well you dance with others, there’s always someone who it just doesn’t quite work out with.

So there’s no hope?
This article was basically my (typically longwinded) way of saying:

“Sometimes we will meet people with whom we will never have a good dance… and that’s ok!”

It happens. It’s not the end of the world. Just accept it and stop worrying about it. It doesn’t mean you have to stop dancing with that person. Just stop being so hard on yourself because it’s not “great”. Not everyone you dance with will be your Cloudy Dancer.

Being “Dance Incompatible” with ONE person does not make you a bad dancer, just as being “sexually incompatible” with ONE person does not make you a bad lover (every man reading this is nodding his head in agreement right now).

Keep dancing folks!

Tags: Compatibility, Dance, Salsa, Sex

Comments 9 Comments
Categories Dance, Goals, Salsa

Welcome to the Latin Dance Community

1 Oct

Todays a big day folks.

No, it’s not my pancake day (unfortunatey 😦 ).

No, I haven’t figured out what women really want.

And, no, I am definitely not giving up Salsa to focus on my true love, Merengue.

Today, marks the birth of the Latin Dance Community.

Oooh yeah! We’ve got a snazzy logo too! Which proves we’re legit!

“The what now?” I hear you murmur confusedly as your eyes glaze over. Well, to put in the far more eloquent words of the website:

“Latin Dance Community (LDC) is a collaboration of writers from around the globe who are passionate about latin dance. Our mission is to serve as the leading online resource for the latin dance community by providing entertaining, educational, and informative articles on Salsa, Bachata, and Kizomba.”

Ok, ok so Kizomba may not be a latin dance but it certainly is making its way through latin dance scenes worldwide.

I’m a writer!!!!
Yes, you read right! Me, the Dancing Irishman, I’m officially a writer now (and not just the crazy, old, bearded man sitting at desk made of an old ironing-board supported by empty paint cans, cackling while I right inflammatory blog posts as I drink partially curdled milk from a skull-bowl… as most of you assumed I was. Right?)

I want to say a big thank you to my brother from another mother, Chilly for getting me involved in this little group of dance-literati. It’s a real honor for me to be working with all of them on this project.

To boldly go where no dance website has gone before
The LDC has some pretty modest goals:

keeping the world informed on current opinions in latin Dance
providing interviews with current dance innovators
~~world domination~~… making all you dancers happy 😉

So what are you waiting for?

Get your fine ass on over to Latin Dance Community and check out all the great articles we have to offer.

Oh and don’t forget, keep coming back here to The Dancing Irishman for my semi-regular updates on dance, language, nutrition, exercise and pictures of interesting cats.

Keep Dancing Folks.

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Tags: dance community, Latin Dance Community, Salsa

Comments Leave a Comment
Categories Culture, Dance, Salsa

Is it OK to refuse a dance?

19 Aug

This is the article I really didn’t want to write!

I’ve been putting it off for a while now but some recent dance happenings kind of gave me the final push to go through with it. So here it is… ugh!

I want to bring up a little, controversial topic that some people feel pretty strongly about:
“Is it ok to refuse a dance?”

In my experience from speaking to other dancers there are two main sides to this; either “Yes” or “No” (making it appear unrealistically black and white). Before you choose your camp (although many of you will have done so as soon as you read the title), give this article a little read.

I love dance!
I really do… and salsa has changed my life, unquestionably, for the better. So, nothing makes me happier than to promote dance, get new people dancing and to see them improving as dancers and enjoying all the benefits that this “hobby” (for want of a much better word) brings.

I get a buzz out of seeing someone new to salsa, after a few months, really coming into their own and tearing it up on the dance floor. I mean that both as someone who has taught salsa and as a member of the broader salsa community.
I’ve also said it many times before that newcomers to salsa need all the encouragement they can get and they NEED the opportunity to dance with more experienced dancers. That’s how we improve.

One of my personal favourite articles on this blog (I know, I’m so CONCEITED, right 😉 ) is “The Etiquette of Salsa” that covers, amongst other things, the manners of the dance floor and if my mother taught me anything, it’s that I should never wear navy with black… and that manners are important! Thanks mam!

In the article I wrote a section about refusing dances and I think the topic merits repeat here:

“DO NOT REFUSE A DANCE! (The Golden Rule)
I would prefer to say “NEVER refuse a dance” but I rarely use the word “never”, as life is full of exceptions. However, my sentiments on this point verge on those conveyed by the word “never”.

The reason; IT HURTS!

For those of you who are more experienced dancers, try to imagine how nervous you were when you first started dancing. For beginners, it takes a hell of a lot of courage to work up the nerve to ask someone out for a dance. Imagine yourself trying to work up all that courage and finally asking that person you’ve been wanting to dance with all night, only to get shot down. For guys, it ranks pretty close to castration (at least it did for me) and I’d imagine it feels worse for ladies who have the extra hurdle to get over, of not being the sex that normally requests a dance (which I personally believe shouldn’t be the case. I love it when a girl asks me out for a dance).

I remember the first time I was refused a dance all too well. I was in a salsa club in Lan Kwai Fong in Hong Kong on the second leg of my first salsa training expedition. I was pretty green but I knew a few moves so I decided do ask a dance of a girl I’d seen dancing really well earlier. I walked up to her, smiled and politely asked “Would you like to dance?” to which she responded, without so much as a smile to dull the blow, with “no”, followed by a halfhearted “maybe later”.

After recoiling from the initial shock of (what felt like) having my internal organs ripped out and stepped on in front of me, I picked up what was left of my testicles and scurried away to a dark corner to hide my shame. I did however recover and go on to have plenty more dances that night but I will never forget how I felt.

Beginning salseros need to be encouraged especially by dancers with more experience. I will dance with anyone (I’ve even danced with men who want to practice their following. That usually gets a few odd looks) because I know how it feels to be refused a dance. I’ll even dance with someone who tells me before hand that they’re not the best dancer or that they’re only a beginner. I’ll just modify what I do to make sure they have as fun a dance as possible.

There are a few situations, however, where it’s ok to say “no”, for example if you don’t like dancing a particular style (like merengue for me), if your last dance was particularly vigorous and you want to take a breather, if you need to go to the restroom etc. You should always smile and explain the reason and tell the person that you will dance the next song with them instead. Be nice.

I try to imagine myself in the shoes of beginners and I try to encourage them with salsa as much as possible along with trying to help them avoid any of the “unpleasant” situations I’ve experienced in the past.”

Let’s face it, no body wants this response!

As you can see, at the time I was pretty damn adamant about never refusing a dance. Times, they be a changin’!

What’s happened to you, man?
I used to follow my “Don’t Refuse” policy, almost dogmatically. The problem with dogma is that it results in extremism, be it in religion, politics or professional hotdog eating. I’ve even written about the problems with dogma and the diets we choose to follow. Basically, dogma can make everything appear black and white when we live in a world with multiple shades of grey (maybe as many as fifty… or so I’ve been told).

My “refusal to refuse” has resulted in two things:

I dance with a lot of beginners. Beginners feel comfortable approaching me for a dance, which I’m very happy about and I get to meet lots of new people. It’s fun!
I dance with some people I genuinely dislike dancing with. I’m talking about people that genuinely suck the fun out of dancing and/or make me feel REALLY uncomfortable.

Here’s the thing… DANCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!!!

The ways someone can make a dance “less than fun” are almost unlimited but I covered some of the main culprits a while back in an article titled “God Awful Dancers”. Which begs the question “Why would I knowingly ruin something that I love so much by dancing with someone I know I really don’t enjoy dancing with?”

Truth be told, I don’t have an answer.

I have some dance friends who refer to people who they dance with despite not wanting to do so as “Charity Dances” which I think is a down right mean term. They still dance with these people but don’t enjoy it. I also have friends that tell me that they flat out won’t dance with certain dancers for reasons including; dangerous/rough leads, dangerous/rough following or “inappropriate/ uncomfortable” behvaiour on the dance floor.

And you know what? Those are perfectly legitimate reasons. The problem is, at the moment, I can’t bring myself to say “No”.

But like I said, there are certain individuals I just don’t want to dance with. They actually suck the soul and enjoyment out of a dance and I end up feeling a little empty at the end. I avoid them at the start of a song and, this is going to sound awful, if I’m dancing and see them hovering on the edges of the dance floor nearby, waiting to strike when the song ends, I gradually dance my way over to the other side of the floor. I know, I’m a monster. But if they catch me and ask for a dance, I don’t say no!

Admit it, if you had someone like this waiting for you when a song ends, you'd move to the other side of the room too!

Admit it, if you had someone like this (female versions included) waiting for you when a song ends, you’d move to the other side of the room too!

There is no nice way of saying this…
I really don’t think there is a way to avoid dancing with someone without hurting their feelings.

You could say you: want to rest for this song/ don’t like this song/ are going to the restroom… but what if someone else you want to dance with asks you?

I’ve been told that if you say “No” a couple of times in succession, the person will just stop asking! It still means you have to say no.

What do you do?
I know I can’t be the only person in the dance community that feels conflicted about this. On the one hand I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings… on the other dancing with certain people just does not feel good.

So, here’s what I’m asking, if you have any insights on the matter, leave a comment and share them. What do you think about refusing a dance? I’m genuinely curious and I think a lot of others are too. Keep it friendly though 😉

Keep Dancing Folks.

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Tags: Etiquette, Refuse a dance, Salsa

Comments 10 Comments
Categories Dance, Goals, Salsa

What is La Época? An interview with Director Josue Joseph (pioneer in salsa musicality)

18 Feb

Director of “La Época” and salsa musicality pioneer, Josue Joseph

So, having returned home to Ireland I managed to go a full 30 days without a single dance (quite possibly the longest salsa-free period in my life since I became a salsero). Being back on the farm in the middle of the Irish countryside means that I’m not exactly spoiled for choice when I comes to dance options.

So I was delighted to break my salsa “dry spell” with a trip to Dublin to attend a screening of the salsa musicality documentaries “La Época” along with a day of musicality workshops led by the director, Josue Joseph. Mr. Joseph was brought to Dublin by the great team at Sun Dance Ireland (nice work guys).

Josue was kind enough to do an interview with me after the workshops in which he talks about his work and the response it has received over the years. You can check out the 2-part interview below.
Part 1

Part 2

My take on “La Época”
“Mind blown, brain melted” is how I can best describe how I felt after a day of workshops with Josue and his partner, Sara.

The reason was due to the fact that I had never been exposed to such detailed information on the music that I’ve been dancing to for years. Josue is a musician (amongst other titles) and his movies open up a depth of latin musicality that most people never consider, even after years of dancing. It really makes you start thinking more deeply about how you should interpret music when you dance and this is probably one of the greatest achievements of La Época.

Whether I agree with all of Josue’s opinions is not important. What’s important is that exposure to his work has made me better informed and much more interested in the musicality of latin dance and that can only lead to an improvement in my dancing (hopefully).

If you’re interested in learning more about musicality I can’t recommend La Época enough. Especially for people teaching dance, La Época finally introduces a definitive way to explain how different parts of music can be translated into body movement while dancing. So its a much more satisfactory alternative to simply telling a student to just “feel the music”.

You can find out more about Josue and his work by visiting his site www.laepocafilm.com. You can also find out where he’ll be holding his next film screenings and workshops (Josue is currently based out of Poland). It will allow you to take the next step in making a big improvement in your dance.

Keep dancing folks.

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